FAKE FRIENDS/ REAL FRIENDS 
FAKE FRIENDS: never ask for food 
REAL FRIENDS: is the reason you have no food 
FAKE FRIENDS: call your parents Mr\Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: call your parents dad/mom
FAKE FRIENDS: never seen you cry
REAL FRIENDS: cry with you
FAKE FRIENDS: borrow yo stuff for few days then gve it back
REAL FRIENDS: keep yo stuff so long they forget its Yos
FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things abt u
REAL FRIENDS: could write a book abt you Wth direct quotes from u
FAKE FRIENDS: will leave u behind f that is Wat the crowd is doin
REAL FRIENDS: will kick the whole crowds dat left you
FAKE FRIENDS: would knock on yo front door
REAL FRIENDS: walk right in and say I'm home
FAKE FRIENDS: are for a while
REAL FRIENDS: are for a life tym
FAKE FRIENDS: will talk bad yo the person who talks bad abt u
REAL FRIENDS: will knock the person out that talk bad abt u
FAKE FRIENDS: would ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: will send this to their friends and hope to get it back!!!!
If you were killed today, I'm sorry I wouldn't be able to come to your funeral because I'd be in jail for killin the person who did it.
First I wantd to let you know that I loVe you to death n think u r amazing. Second if I dont get this back I understand...
U must send it to 14 people that u really care abt including the person that sent it to u. IF u receive least 7 then u are ***amazing***

I was in love wit a lady i met on 1 of the social media, i loved her dearly! I called ha often, day nd 9te. I went mad of ha love. I promised ha my love. Later on she told me that she is scared of telin me some tin. I told nd promised ha neva to let it go! Even if it means death i.ll nt only lovn ha bt MARRY ha. So i told ha to fil free nd tel me.
SHE‬ TOLD ME SHE HAVE A KID (Child) and the baby iz at 6yrs na.
Ha ex guy did that !
Bt i stil promise ha of my love nd i gve ha assurance neva to panic to that. I dnt mind.

Only to discover that she was a sex worker!!!

Plz what do i do NOW? keep the fire burning or QUIT???

A secondary school teacher in Anambra state was asking each of her students what they would like to be when they grow up...
Chekwube the most stubborn boy in the class stood up and said " I will be a billionaire, marry the hottest wife, make love to her 3 times a day, take her to Dubai for shopping every 2 months, buy her the most expensive car, travel with her to different places around the world" The teacher ignores chekwube for his non-chalant attitude and asks Chiamaka what she will in the future.
Chiamaka quietly whispered " I will like to be Chekwube's wife"

A guy in order to raise some money, decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.
He went to a playground, grabbed a child, took him behind a tree, and said to him; I have kidnapped you!

He wrote a note saying; I have kidnapped your child. Tomorrow morning, put 10,000 Naira in a paper bag and put it under the Mango tree next to the slide on the left hand side of the playground. Signed, Kidnapper.

The guy then pinned the note to the child's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the guy checked, and a paper bag was beneath the mango tree.

The guy opened the bag and found the 10,000 Naira with a note that said; ''How could you do this to Akpos?''

One word for Akpos.

Akpos was asked to go and buy things in the market.
Due to his illiteracy, his madam gave him a list to help him buy accurately.
List
Magi - 10 naira
Salt - 50 naira
Oil - 200 naira
Fish - 400 naira
Total = 660 naira
So akpos left the house around 11am and at 3pm he is not yet back from the market.
The madam was so worried and decided to call akpos on phone.
Madam: hello akpos what is holding you, you have stayed too long, what happend?
Akpos replied: I have bought the magi, salt, oil and fish but am looking for Total to buy, you included Total in the list you gave to me. I have gone round the market but nobody has Total...
One word for akpos! ?

If d children of Israel were Nigerians!!
While crossing d red sea they would've wasted d whole day in middle of d sea taking 'pictures' & uploading on Facebook & Twitter with comments
like...


(1) chilling with Moses
(2) miracle things on point
(3) crossing mode activated
(4) cruising in d red sea
(5) Pharaoh no fit catch us
(6) Omoo see fish flexing
(7) Fish for sale, ping for delivery
(8) flexing with Uncle Mo!
(9) swimming mode activated
(10) my boo and i on fish hunting... Abi l lie? Lol

“Most terrible wife ever” – Tchidi Chikere 

slams his ex-wife, shares photos of her

 with another man

Nollywood producer/director TChidi has blown the lid on why his marriage with estranged wife Sophia crumpled by exposing photos of Sophia with her lovers.

According to TChidi, he has tried in a matured way to be silent about the whole issue but he just can’t hold it anymore.


“Sophia is the most terrible wife ever in life, somebody that never gave me a home, she wanted a party freak life, no respect for marriage…all Sophia ever wanted was bear his name, no love, no affection.” he vented on twitter You will recall that Sophia had accused Tchidi’s new wife – actress Nuella Njugbigbo – of breaking her home and stealing Tchidi from her.

See Tchidi’s tweets and photos shared below:

By Omotola Filani on April 3, 2014