Saturday, 12 April 2014

Which Of This Have You Done In The Kitchen

We have all done at least one of these things in the kitchen before; be honest,
which of them are you guilty of _____?

1. Opening maggi cube with your teeth
2. Moving the hot pot with your wrapper / whatever you are wearing.
3. Dusting off your hand in the food when adding salt or maggi.
4. Using your hand to see if your rice or beans is cooked
5. Using the big cooking spoon to transfer a little soup to your palm to taste.
6. Eat directly from the pot
7. Using your cloth to clean a plate you want to use
8. Using your mouth to blow out the stove
9. Frying dodo (Plantain) and eating almost everything before you finish.
10. Using your bare hands to open the hot pot (forming superman)

Oya Confess

Thursday, 10 April 2014

A boy was dating a girl who always hurt his feelings.


One day, she broke up with him and stormed out of the house.


Three months later, the girl had a change of heart. She realized that she
really loved the boy, so she went back to him and said, “Give me one more
chance. I love you and I need you.

I will never hurt you anymore.

” But the boy just laughed and said, “Only a fool would take back someone
who hurt them so badly…”

The girl felt hopeless and began to cry, 

but the boy put his arms around her, hugged her tightly and said, . .
. .
. .
.
“And I guess I am one of those fools
Are You Still Hurt???


Have you ever wondered why that longtime relationship you had with that someone that you loved so much had to end? Alright, stop wondering and
blaming yourself because it was all God’s plan. He saw that that relationship was going nowhere. He saw that the person you used to love wasn’t right for
you. God saw that you deserved better.
He saw that person wasn’t serious with you. God never wanted you to get hurt the more than you were. God saw that that person was busy dating other people behind your back. He saw that you were getting destroyed mentally, emotionally & physically over someone who was seeing somebody else. God saw that person was only tearing you down and making your life miserable. He
never wanted you to waste more of your time on that person. Seriously God had to interrupt you, so you can start afresh. He had someone else for you.
Now look at yourself, you’re getting over that pain. You’re now getting stronger, wiser and happier. You can now live your own life; you have no stress and worries. You can now even help other people who are going through the same exact thing you went through. You now gained experience; you now know how to handle your heart delicately & how to go about relationships.
Fine, you were hurt but trust me that relationship ended for a special reason. Thank God for that because He saved you from many things. You can now either give yourself time, or you can try catching up feelings for that other person who seem to be interested in you, and if you’re already attached with someone please love that person genuinely but take it slowly and be careful.

Love with all your heart, but pls take your brain along with.
FAKE FRIENDS/ REAL FRIENDS 
FAKE FRIENDS: never ask for food 
REAL FRIENDS: is the reason you have no food 
FAKE FRIENDS: call your parents Mr\Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: call your parents dad/mom
FAKE FRIENDS: never seen you cry
REAL FRIENDS: cry with you
FAKE FRIENDS: borrow yo stuff for few days then gve it back
REAL FRIENDS: keep yo stuff so long they forget its Yos
FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things abt u
REAL FRIENDS: could write a book abt you Wth direct quotes from u
FAKE FRIENDS: will leave u behind f that is Wat the crowd is doin
REAL FRIENDS: will kick the whole crowds dat left you
FAKE FRIENDS: would knock on yo front door
REAL FRIENDS: walk right in and say I'm home
FAKE FRIENDS: are for a while
REAL FRIENDS: are for a life tym
FAKE FRIENDS: will talk bad yo the person who talks bad abt u
REAL FRIENDS: will knock the person out that talk bad abt u
FAKE FRIENDS: would ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: will send this to their friends and hope to get it back!!!!
If you were killed today, I'm sorry I wouldn't be able to come to your funeral because I'd be in jail for killin the person who did it.
First I wantd to let you know that I loVe you to death n think u r amazing. Second if I dont get this back I understand...
U must send it to 14 people that u really care abt including the person that sent it to u. IF u receive least 7 then u are ***amazing***
I was in love wit a lady i met on 1 of the social media, i loved her dearly! I called ha often, day nd 9te. I went mad of ha love. I promised ha my love. Later on she told me that she is scared of telin me some tin. I told nd promised ha neva to let it go! Even if it means death i.ll nt only lovn ha bt MARRY ha. So i told ha to fil free nd tel me.
SHE‬ TOLD ME SHE HAVE A KID (Child) and the baby iz at 6yrs na.
Ha ex guy did that !
Bt i stil promise ha of my love nd i gve ha assurance neva to panic to that. I dnt mind.
Only to discover that she was a sex worker!!!
Plz what do i do NOW? keep the fire burning or QUIT???

Wednesday, 9 April 2014

A secondary school teacher in Anambra state was asking each of her students what they would like to be when they grow up...
Chekwube the most stubborn boy in the class stood up and said " I will be a billionaire, marry the hottest wife, make love to her 3 times a day, take her to Dubai for shopping every 2 months, buy her the most expensive car, travel with her to different places around the world" The teacher ignores chekwube for his non-chalant attitude and asks Chiamaka what she will in the future.
Chiamaka quietly whispered " I will like to be Chekwube's wife"

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

A guy in order to raise some money, decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.
He went to a playground, grabbed a child, took him behind a tree, and said to him; I have kidnapped you!
He wrote a note saying; I have kidnapped your child. Tomorrow morning, put 10,000 Naira in a paper bag and put it under the Mango tree next to the slide on the left hand side of the playground. Signed, Kidnapper.
The guy then pinned the note to the child's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the guy checked, and a paper bag was beneath the mango tree.
The guy opened the bag and found the 10,000 Naira with a note that said; ''How could you do this to Akpos?''
One word for Akpos.

Monday, 7 April 2014

Akpos was asked to go and buy things in the market.
Due to his illiteracy, his madam gave him a list to help him buy accurately.
List
Magi - 10 naira
Salt - 50 naira
Oil - 200 naira
Fish - 400 naira
Total = 660 naira
So akpos left the house around 11am and at 3pm he is not yet back from the market.
The madam was so worried and decided to call akpos on phone.
Madam: hello akpos what is holding you, you have stayed too long, what happend?
Akpos replied: I have bought the magi, salt, oil and fish but am looking for Total to buy, you included Total in the list you gave to me. I have gone round the market but nobody has Total...

One word for akpos! ?

Thursday, 3 April 2014

If d children of Israel were Nigerians!!
While crossing d red sea they would've wasted d whole day in middle of d sea taking 'pictures' & uploading on Facebook & Twitter with comments
like...


(1) chilling with Moses
(2) miracle things on point
(3) crossing mode activated
(4) cruising in d red sea
(5) Pharaoh no fit catch us
(6) Omoo see fish flexing
(7) Fish for sale, ping for delivery
(8) flexing with Uncle Mo!
(9) swimming mode activated
(10) my boo and i on fish hunting... Abi l lie? Lol

“Most terrible wife ever” – Tchidi Chikere 

slams his ex-wife, shares photos of her

 with another man

Nollywood producer/director TChidi has blown the lid on why his marriage with estranged wife Sophia crumpled by exposing photos of Sophia with her lovers.

According to TChidi, he has tried in a matured way to be silent about the whole issue but he just can’t hold it anymore.


“Sophia is the most terrible wife ever in life, somebody that never gave me a home, she wanted a party freak life, no respect for marriage…all Sophia ever wanted was bear his name, no love, no affection.” he vented on twitter You will recall that Sophia had accused Tchidi’s new wife – actress Nuella Njugbigbo – of breaking her home and stealing Tchidi from her.

See Tchidi’s tweets and photos shared below:



By  on April 3, 2014
Joke

Akpos went to show his girlfriend how much he loved her
then this conversation began

AKPOS : i love you my girl, see i can swim for u in d ocean, i can fly in d air, i can walk on d sea, all just because of ur love

GIRL : ( flatterd  ) pls wait let me ask you a question

AKPOS : go on my dear

GIRL : ( in happy mood  ) can you die for meee????

AKPOS : noooo.......! My love for you is undying love oo

ONE WORD FOR AKPOS
Akpos promised his girlfriend 20k while chatting with her on BBM, a week later she unexpectedly visited him while he was about to traveled

"honey where is the 20k u promised me last week" she asked

akpos reply" i dont have any money with me right now babe, but here is my ATM card, you can withdraw all d amount in my account
he gave her his ATM knwowing fully well he had nothing in his account

half way through his journey he received a call from his friend

"hello akpos" i just deposited 100,000 in your bank account now, the money i have been owing you since last six month, you will soon receive the alert now
.
.
.
.
Akpos is now in the hospital for crashing his car into a tree
Akpos in a sport class

TEACHER : who is the best striker in nigeria??

Only Akpos raise up his hand

TEACHER : ( got angry :@ ) is it only Akpos that i always tought in dis class?? Now akpos take dis cane and give them 6stroke of cane each

After Akpos has serve them round, the class is now noisy with cry ;( 

TEACHER : now akpos my boy tell all dis goat who called themself a student the best striker in nigeria

AKPOS : oga na ASSU
.
.
.
.
.
Teacher fainted
.
.
.
.
GUESS WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT
Chelsea fans say they rule this page....Let's see which club has the most fans in our page.!


1. Manchester United
2. Chelsea
3. Arsenal
4. Manchester City
5. Liverpool
6. Real Madrid
7. Barcelona
8. Milan
9. Bayern Munchen
10. Borussia Dortmund
11. Atletico de Madrid
12. Inter Milan
13. Juventus
14. Roma
15. Olympiakos
16. Panathinaikos
17. Paris Saint Germain
18. Olympique Marsseille
19. Napoli
20. Monaco
21. Bayer Leverkusen
22. Benfica
23. Porto
24. Ajax
25. (Other, mention it)

Just comment the number! Lets goo!
BOY: A, B, C
GIRL: What?
BOY: Always Be Careful
GIRL: Ahan then?
BOY: D, E, F, G
Girl : ??
BOY: Don't Ever ForGet That
GIRL: Hmmm...
BOY: I'm H I
Girl: What H I ?
BOY: Happily In love
GIRL: So ??
BOY: J, K, L, M, - Just Keep Loving Me
GIRL: And how about N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z ?
BOY: No Other Person Quite, Reasonable , Shall Treat U Very 
Well Xcept me You'll Zee
Which of the following best described APC


1] APC = Association of Past Criminals
2] APC = All Past Criminals
3] APC = Aboki People Congress
4] APC = Aggrieved Political Criminals!
5] APC = Almajiri Peoples Party
6] APC = Arab Peoples Congress
7] APC = All professional criminals
8] APC = Aggravated Prostrate Conspiracy
9] APC = Agbro Peoples Camp
10] APC = Allah Peoples Congress
11] APC = Aggrieved Peoples Congress
12] APC = Agbero People Congress

Buhari has clearly stated that muslim can only vote muslim, their is no
democracy in this party, to call it a national party only means that the nation
is Islamic, as to call it a national party as in a democracy goes against the
teachings of Islam. Hence I reiterate Nigeria if it as allowed to remain will be a
total Islamic nation run by extremists and if you do not convert you will die by
the hands of their military arm, with your head cut off if they want to be
kind.
Football vs Sex.
1. Going to your bf/gf without being invited = OFFSIDE.
2. Dating a girl today and having sex on the same day = FREE-KICK.
3. Condom = GOALKEEPER
4. Condom breaks = PENALTY
5. Abortion = RED CARD
6. A girl with lots of energy = CAPTAIN
7. Having sex without a condom = OWN GOAL
8. Taking a lot of time without coming = MAN OF THE MATCH.
9.Banging 3 girls in a day = HAT-TRICK.
10. Having many chicks and banging all = MVP
11. Having sex with your ex = FRIENDLY MATCH
12. 8 years of sex without getting a child = ARSENAL
13. After 2 rounds, u request for more =EXTRA TIME.
14. Taking it gently when having sex = FAIR PLAY
15. Biting her n!pples = SUAREZ
16.Two legs on shoulder = THROWIN
17. Asking her 'how do you want it' = Taking instructions on the sideline.
18. A lady using pills after sex and later still got pregnant = DEFENSIVE
ERROR
19.Girl being pregnant = GoOoOoOallllll
20.Ur guy collect ur chick= True pass
21.Having sex with a girl..and your mum open d door= Injury
22.You and your girl break up= Game over
23. Girl tell u to stop= YELLOW CARD

Monday, 31 March 2014

Akpors daughter Returns Home After 30 Years.
Akpors(angry): "Where the hell have you been all
these years???"
Girl: "I was working as a Prostitute in the Abuja.
Akpors: "What!!?..... Get out of my house,You Whore,
I don't want to see a your face Again do you understand!!!!!!????
Girl(crying): "Before I go Dad, I came to give you
$10million cheque, and here is $2 million for my
brother.
I have bought a big house in UK for you with
everything in it including a Ferarri and a Bugati, bye Dad"
Akpors: "What kind of work you said you
were doing??"
Girl (crying out loud): "A Prostitute Dad!!!"
Akpors: "Come and give Daddy a hug", I thought
you said you were a "prosecutor" !!!
One word for the Akpors.

Sunday, 30 March 2014

M-O-T-H-E-R
“M” is for the million things she gave me,
“O” means only that she’s growing old,
“T” is for the tears she shed to save me,
“H” is for her heart of purest gold;
“E” is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
“R” means right, and right she’ll always be,
Put them all together, they spell “MOTHER,”
A word that means the world to me.

Sweetheart Chinedu wishes ALL the Mums a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. We love, honor and celebrate you.

Share this if you love your mum...

Saturday, 29 March 2014

6 Secrets Of The World’s Richest People

Like most broke university students, Steve Siebold wanted to get rich. But unlike most college kids, he did something about it.


“In 1984 I was a sophomore in college,” he recalls. “And I was sitting in class listening to business professors telling me the odds of succeeding in business were so slim that it would take years to get there.”
But Siebold wasn’t interested in waiting years.
So he tracked down a millionaire—and requested an interview. That millionaire, in turn, introduced him to another millionaire and so on. Since then, Siebold has interviewed more than 1,200 millionaires and even billionaires. “It’s really a 30-year study at this point,” he says.
Given all of the, ahem, rich knowledge that Siebold has collected over those three decades, he decided to share his insider findings in a book, “How Rich People Think.” His biggest takeaway? “[Becoming a millionaire] isn’t about money,” he says. “It’s about psychology.”
Intrigued to learn more about how the mind can possibly pave the way to millionaire-hood, we sat down with Siebold to pick his brain.

LearnVest: Do you truly believe that anyone can get rich?

Steve Siebold: Well, there are obviously exceptions—say, if you’re psychologically handicapped or have other serious setbacks—but, for the most part, the average person in America can get rich. After being around wealthy people for so many years, I’ve learned that they’re no smarter than the rest of us. They’re just ordinary people with extraordinary focus and drive who are looking for gaps or what’s missing in the marketplace—for what can be filled.

But aren’t some people just naturally born with that entrepreneurial spirit? Can it really be taught?

Sure, some people seem to be predisposed to being entrepreneurs. One guy I interviewed built a $90 million company from scratch, and he seemed to just have that inner drive, which can be an advantage. But all you really need is the desire.
Take a single mother who can’t pay her bills or get a job—she has a strong need. And if you have a strong enough desire, you can develop the skills necessary to become an entrepreneur. That’s the way most Americans become rich.

In your book, you say that middle-class people focus on saving, while rich people focus on earning. But it’s ingrained in us from birth to save. Isn’t that something everyone should do?

Absolutely. Saving is so important. My point is that the average person last year made $38,000 in income. If I’m making $38,000, and I’m saving 10%, that’s only $3,800 a year. I’m going to be 300 years old before I can retire. What the wealthy do is focus on earning more. If you can make $200,000 a year, then you’re saving $20,000—a big improvement.

True, but that’s a big jump. How can the average person earn significantly more?

That’s where the entrepreneurial mindset comes in. You look for small business opportunities. Niche markets. You don’t have to open a McDonalds, but maybe you start with a small lawn-mowing or pool-cleaning business or selling things on eBay—technology has opened up so many opportunities. Remember that it’s not about the money, but your way of thinking. Rich people look for problems to solve, and then cultivate the skills, passion and talent to solve them.
You wouldn’t take fitness and health advice from someone who’s not fit, so why would you take money advice from someone who’s not rich?

Your book has 90-plus tips. What are the top-three things you’d tell someone to do today to start getting rich?

For starters, be around the rich. Some people may think it’s extreme, but before I was wealthy, I moved into a neighborhood I couldn’t afford. I wanted to be around rich people—not to make deals with them, but to learn their mindset. I don’t recommend doing the same thing, but you can go to places where rich people congregate, such as charity auctions, seminars, country clubs. Listen to how they talk about money and opportunity. Compare their mindset to yours—and then consider adjustments.
Number two: Get away from people who tell you that your [business idea] can’t be done because you don’t have enough education, money, talent. Listening to those people—and believing them—can quickly derail your plans.
Lastly, discover what your talents are and how you can use them. I was a professional tennis player, and when I started teaching, I wasn’t making very much money. The millionaires I was around at the time told me to start thinking about the talents that I had, which is part of thinking like an entrepreneur. The one thing I really focused on with athletes was the mental toughness side of sports and cultivating that focus. The millionaires said that’s a skill that most people don’t have—and find a place where they’re missing that.
So long story short, over a period of six or seven years, I started training the skill of mental toughness to salespeople in large corporations … and that’s how I made my own millions. The heart of it is that everybody has certain talents—they just don’t recognize what they’re worth.

What’s the number-one mistake people who want to be rich—but aren’t—make?

They listen to the average person, with no money, tell them about money. You wouldn’t take fitness and health advice from someone who’s not fit, so why would you take money advice from someone who’s not rich? It doesn’t make sense.

By Business Insider on March 29, 2014